For years I KNEW, just KNEW to my very core, that if I just lost weight I’d feel better about myself and then I could do things I’d been afraid to do. Once I had confidence because I was skinny my world would change in immeasurable ways.
Those people that said what I looked like wouldn’t change how I felt about myself were wrong, wrong, wrong. They were already skinny, probably never were fat (or never as fat as me!) so how could they possibly know. And I found it laughable that anyone who wasn’t skinny would say they loved themselves. That’s just absurd!!
That was my thinking and thank goodness I love crow because I’ve had to eat a frickin’ lot of it in regards to physical attributes equaling self confidence.
I was wrong. So very mistaken.
See I got skinny. I got to my goal weight. I wore the size 6…in pants even!!! And while certain circumstances of my life changed for the better, I still didn’t have a whole lot of love of self. More confidence in my ability to overcome, yes…conquering 3 decades of poor health habits will do that for a person. But bone deep love of self?? Nope, not even close.
Here is the hard truth: your physical appearance will not equate to a love of self or cultivate a powerful self-worth.
Don’t believe me? Will you allow me one chance to try to convince you? Yes??
Cool! Keep reading!
Multiple choice problem number 1: Read each personal synopsis below and then assign each synopsis to a type of person. You can assign only one person type to each synopsis. Person type is either “Fat” or “Skinny.”
This woman is driven, very typically “Type A” and a self professed perfectionist, and was nominated “Most Likely to Succeed” by her classmates. She participated in sports, numerous extracurricular activities, and maintained a B+/A- GPA all through her high school and college years. Through her professional career she has been a top performer achieving Employee of the Year in her first year of professional work, attaining three industry certifications within two years, was responsible for project implementation in an international scale, was responsible for a 60 site LAN/WAN, and became Director of IT. She loves the show Friends, enjoys movies, and pop culture. She enjoys baking, home DIY projects, and napping.
This woman is a self-starter and doesn’t require accountability to get the job done. Once she decides what she wants, she is compelled to make it happen. She has undertaken many courageous challenges to improve herself and her life. She has left a career she did not enjoy to build a life in alignment with her values. She has re-tooled and re-educated herself, redefining her skillset in order to create her own business and become an entrepreneur. This woman is speaking out against long-held beliefs within her industry. Her intent is to “move the needle” and create much-needed change within the industry she works. Her hobbies include reading, walking, and watching football. Her favorite foods are raspberries and homemade cookies and her favorite quote is: Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway (Eleanor Roosevelt).
Synopsis A…Fat or Skinny?
Synopsis B…Fat or Skinny?
Do you have a guess?
How could you venture to guess? Meaning what reasoning did you use to reach your answer?
What traits would you assume to be correlated to fat or skinny?
I am the woman described in BOTH the synopsis’…synopsis’s??…synopsi??…whatever, I digress…
There is a little of bit of the old and the new me in each description…those are accurate representations of who I am on both counts. I was ALWAYS who I was…I just thought I would be able to love who I was when I got skinny. That simply wasn’t and isn’t true!!
Do you see that I held determination and work ethic in both descriptions? Do you see that I have hobbies/loves that are not active in both descriptions? Do you see that I have conviction in both descriptions? Being fat didn’t make me lazy and unable to achieve. Being skinny didn’t make me MORE likely to achieve and it didn’t fix my self-worth either.
You hold goodness and light and wonderfulness and worthiness RIGHT FUCKING NOW, regardless of the shape or size of your physical body. That’s a tough pill to swallow in our culture of “New Year, New You” and “Beach Body Ready!”
If you want to break free of feeling like you suck, then you’re going to have to dig past following mainstream diets and doing what you’ve always done.
How?? How do you do that??
You allow for time.
You find a tribe of people who will support you.
You let go of the negative noise and influences that pervade our culture/feeds/psyche.
You begin to take ONE SMALL STEP at a time and change bit by bit by bit.
And most importantly, you begin to trust that voice way deep down inside that keeps saying “This sucks…don’t do it anymore!”
By all means change your health, lose weight even. But while you’re doing that, you NEED to be reframing your thoughts and mindset. They all work together!! A skinny body doesn’t bring you health, nor does it fix what you think it will.
I’m telling you this because I’ve lived it and I want to save you from the anguish I felt when I got skinny and I still wasn’t happy.
Right now, TODAY, you are worthy of feeling good about the person you are.
Or perhaps the better way to state it, is this:
You are worthy of developing a self-love and confidence, no matter how you look or what you weigh…
you don’t need to wait until you are skinny to appreciate the person you are!!
I’m not your typical health guru or trainer…I pretty much go against industry grain in most every aspect of health I talk about. Sound interesting and perhaps you’d like to get to know me better or be a part of what I’m teaching? There’s a couple ways to do that:
- Join my crew and get FREE weekly newsletters with exclusive content and discounts. Go here for that –> Head In The Game Fitness Newsletter sign up
- Join my FREE FB group called Project You and join a community of folks tired of mainstream crap who want something besides sports bras and abs to look at and talk about. Go here for that –> Project You – Health for body, mind, and life